joke?

you know. i really feel like a joke when it comes to this.

it has been…… let’s see…. at the very least 4 years.

let me give u this senario.
you’re with a bunch of friends. i can say they are nice friends
and they make every effort to celebrate each and everyone’s bday with serious effort

except yours.

to me. i haven told anyone from the clique about this but i feel damn smljwtf about it.
i’m expected to chip in for the bday etc etc etc.
but no one remembers my bday. honestly i dun even need a celebration. not even a greeting?
and i’m expected to chip in in their birthdays?

i dunno, am i selfish? am i petty or is there really something wrong?

and dont.
dont say it’s cause i dun appear much or wads not.
in the first place no one really does care about my bday

so now i feel like i’m a filler to let the presents be cheaper or sorts.
call me a selfish bastard i dun care.
call me an attention seeker who failed to even get any bday greetings.

but i’m pissed and trying to act like i dun feel anything about it.

to my dear friends who remember my bday and even celebrate with me (including ah hock ok)
a huge thanks to you guys.

i just wanna say, i’m not wanting or begging for a celebration or a greeting from them. even if they come now they dun mean anything like hell.
i just felt unfair, for years and i think i should blog it out b4 i explode.

anyhow, entering army in exactly 1 month’s time

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update

1) thanks for all the good wishes by friends for medical check up. results shows i’m fine. just perhaps inflammation on the kidney. i still have to be careful though.

2) i still haven get my pes status which is like wtfbbqomgzzzzzzzz. i got a bad feeling that i’ll be only enlisted by next yr.

3) soul eater rocks! very funny yet nice shounen anime! good animation good humor good fighting interesting plot. i love maka! highly recommended.

4) i’ve completed claire’s fanart! been wondering if i should like post in her official forum now or wait till she comes to sg again (which is like god knows when) there isnt a day which i dun listen to her songs~~~ claire rocks!

5) oh yes! lis. didnt u say u wanna learn this song but no translation?
HERE IT IS! from this forum beware of the wall of lyrics though… i’m sure u’ll realised the english feels forced as it pretty much translates from the original lyrics closely. take note that structures of chinese and english are greatly different

你的香气 – 郭静
Ni De Xiang Qi – Claire Guo Jing

玫瑰凋谢的一瞬间留下的香气
mei gui diao xie de yi shun jian liu xia de xiang qi
The fragrance left behind at the instant of the wilting rose,
让我不解追索从前打开记忆的图片
rang wo bu jie zhui suo cong qian da kai ji yi de tu pian
Made me chase uncomprehendingly after the image of recalling a previous memory.
花开的季节背叛曾经上演
hua kai de ji jie bei pan ceng jing shang yan
During the flowering season, betrayal once played out.
直到这刻才发现 我已经真的真的走远
zhi dao zhe ke cai fa xian wo yi jing zhen de zhen de zou yuan
Only till this instant do I discover that I’ve really, really travelled far.
这属于你的香气 我已不再挂念
zhe shu yu ni de xiang qi wo yi bu zai gua nian
This scent of yours, I miss it no more.

曾经爱过可惜已经找不到线索
ceng jing ai guo ke xi yi jing zhao bu dao xian suo
Having once loved before, it is a pity that I couldn’t find a clue.
某年某月就算再让我与你擦身而过
mou nian mou yue jiu suan zai rang wo yu ni ca shen er guo
In a certain year in a certain month, even if we brush past each other,
我已不是我你触碰不了我的心中
wo yi bu shi wo ni chu peng bu le wo de xin zhong
I’m no longer who I was, and you cannot touch my heart,
那最深的角落
na zui shen de jiao luo
The deepest corner of it.

曾经的痛我已经让它孤单坠落 时间慢慢流过
ceng jing de tong wo yi jing rang ta gu dan zhui luo shi jian man man liu guo
The previous pain has been left to fall in loneliness, and time passes slowly.
让我们选择好好的过执著着什么
rang wo men xuan ze hao hao de guo zhi zhu zhe shen mo
So let us choose with due deliberation, what it is that we hold dear.
你的香气已弥漫风中
ni de xiang qi yi mi man feng zhong
Your fragrance has dissipated with the wind.
而我有云淡风晴的天
er wo you yun dan feng qing de tian
While I have a clear, breezy, sunny day.

6) trivial: this entry so far has the most amount of categories involved. and so that concludes my updates.

many many

been sometime since i updated.
no updates mean good news mostly i guess.
but updates also doesnt mean it’s bad.

i think lemme start with bad thing 1st so the entry will end good.
bad thing, what else, the fugging cousin lor.

she’s honestly a bitch man.
1) i sit at the dining table to eat and watch tv. SHE SIT RIGHT INFRONT OF ME without asking me if i am watching tv. RUDE SHIET.
2) she HOG on the phone. what’s the big deal? the deal is, when other ppl call in, SHE IGNORE THEM. can u imagine if it’s important/emergency call? can u see how selfish, attitude, irresponsible, childish she is from here?

there’s many other issues but it is more about my sis vs her so i wont go on. just wanna conclude that she’s a real BIATCH.

ok moving on to neutral stuff.
my buddy vincent went into army liao. i was with him at the direct enlistment. went tekong see see look look. actually the bunks look quite comfy. when i went there it had a very familiar feeling… like red cross.
but my issue is i dunno when i going in and which pes i’m going in as.

good stuff…
few wks ago i was PMed by uncle wilson from jaben networks (audio stuff shop), saying that he had a surprise for me! and so i received an amplifier that improved the soundquality of my mp3 player. it must have costed at least 60-70 bucks. satisfying~

now for the best stuff in this post.
karty’s belated bday dinner at seoul garden!

personally i had lotsa fun and i hope karty enjoyed it as much as i did!
cheap is talk. GPGT

i was cooking fried rice….

the gayness

stan and ken aka mark lee

surprise attack!

feeding the girl…

well i hardly post my own pics but i thought these were pretty amusing

last pic for the day!

hokays mission accomplished. many good years ahead~

hm

sometimes i feel robbed of my friends when it comes to online games.

what can i do? haven start my freelance work. DIE.

nothing much today.

presenting Aozora by Lia. for Air the anime.

this is just the song with still picture. same song different rendition below.

live version

dun watch this if you intend to watch the anime. mega spoiler

day by day

i’m ranting and can be pretty offensive if you’re doing it.

i’m talking about art vs marketable so-called-art-designs

1) you practise and practise everyday. you improve and improve and improve. guess what? you become someone who manufactures ‘good’ so-called-art-designs!

2) with noticeable hey-this-style-looks-familiar-styles, you produce so-called-art-designs day by day. being proud to be an ARTist because you can produce beautify so-called-art-designs.

3) of course, you’re not fine with the way it is. u need to make ur so-called-art-designs more marketable by improving! and you become a better ‘artist’ with marketable value!

i’m not pinpointing anyone. just in general a rant.

it’s sad to see things like this. i used to have an artist i like alot, but lately she has ‘fallen’ into what i was talking about earlier. no more watercolor works. more and more warcraft fanart. painted and nicely rendered. it pricks me to see such.

i’m sorry but to say art holds a very special meaning to me. drawing something is not art. it’s personal. really. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

enough of looking at myrants. go practise more naoz.

run away run away

uh. if they werent behind me i might have been stuck in that emotion for that period of time.

but then again avoiding all became futile.

i dunno.

how long do i need to get over? zzz

oh art (yes rant alert)

wad is art
something that isnt beautiful isnt art? oh man fuck off.
doing something that represent yourself but which isnt all nice and beautiful and u get
‘dun do something like this again next time =p’

what? dun be myself? or wad? be you? gawd i rather die to follow suckers like this.
if art is just about creating what people like then art is meaningless to YOU urself.
that’s design for it’s created to please OTHERS but not u.
oh cock wake up.

now tell me, am i the twisted, distorted one or are all these beauty nazi ignorant and naive about themselves?

TELL ME WHAT IS ART.
doing fanart to please others? doing fanart to become famous? wad the fuck is this?
has art lost its meaning or am i adding my own meaning into art?
if art is so on the surface then our meaning to live on is weak.

MANUFACTURED WORKS TO FOLLOW THE TREND IS ART?
JUST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? let’s say alot of ‘artists’ say rendered artwork is good and meaningful.
you’re following it just because others said so? is art as simple as following people’s review to go to a restaurant to eat?
then just what are you thinking? i mean, do you even think about what you have been doing for art? AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING TO GET INTO THE SO CALLED ART.

or am i the only dimwit who thinks art is precious while following the crowd is the best way to go?
oh gawd. if i am a dimwit, let me be. because it’s blind to follow ours but not your heart.

this is just me, let me just say art is something that comes from your heart
if it’s blindy following the crowd, it’s not art. it’s A MINDLESS TREND. A TREND that’s all.
more important that techniques and whats not, PUT YOUR MIND AND HEART INTO IT.
give part of you into it so much so it’s like your child. that’s art FOR ME

you hone your skills, you improve your technique.
admit it and call them studies/design/money making tool. THEY ARENT ART BULLSHIT.
i make alot of studies but most of them arent art and i admit it.
if you think your art(work) sucks, then you suck. because IT’S YOU.

so now, IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL TO SAY. comment and i will be glad.
IF YOU wanna put my words down, be sure you come with substance if not they’re just CRAP/TREND to me.
we need to open our heart to see. use our soul to feel. this is art.

anyhow, i’m saying these as view of just an artist. an artist.

ok i’ve ranted enough and tada. next up will be my sister’s pastry.

R is for

RESIST!

i dun need a new headphone/earphone just cause the current headphone jack is good.

MY CURRENT HEADPHONE IS COMFORTABLE!

I DUN NEED A NEW EARPHONE.

STOP THINKING ABOUT IT U BASTARD, STOP!